I've been complaining about my PCP for ages, but always figured, I hardly ever see her so its not that crucial to change it. And then I end up needing to see her, and I go through the whole: I need a new dr! thing again. So this last flare up, the one where she called some random rhuematologist, was when I decided to follow through with getting a new one.
Something you should know: (actually, I've probably said it in here somewhere) my mom's a nurse, so when it comes to my medical situations, she always has an opinion. Not just your random opinions that most parents have, because there's always some medical knowledge in said discussions. However, she's not consistent in sharing her opinion, most of the time she'll give it freely when I'm not looking for it, or when it goes against something my dr's and I decided. But when I'm actually LOOKING for her medical (or regular) opinion, she almost always tells me it's my decision and keeps her opinion to herself. (don't you love it when that happens??)
So I finally decide to go dr shopping, and my mom suddenly has no input on who I should see. She works with drs all the time and either knows a lot of them or at the very least knows of them, what they're like, etc... So I go trolling through random websites like healthgrades.com or ucomparehealthcare.com trying to find ratings, opinions or whatnot about local PCP's. I even went through the list reading their names out loud and asking about them...she only commented on the ones I thought had some promise and was going to look into..."oh, no...you don't want him/her..." sigh...
So I ask my rhuematologist (dr mak) for suggestions, and end up, not sure how really since I asked for suggestions, with a referral for a local dr who I guess is in the same network as dr mak. I go home and tell my mom "search over, going with dr...." and she responds quite emphatically: "oh...NOOOOO...you do NOT want HIM! He is the most arrogant, self-important, know it all, I've ever had to work with. You do not want to see him. He wouldn't be the right dr for your condition." Great feedback...little late in the game... Now what? I've got a referral and everything... No problem, I think...haven't called, just pretend it never happened and keep looking..." Two days later I get a phone call from his office asking me for more information for my file...apparently dr mak put everything through... great! (and by the way, she was extremely rude on the phone as well, before I even told her I'd reconsidered so I didn't feel too badly about this) So I inform her that I was still looking at my options and I would contact the office if I decided to go with them. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure she hung up on me....That door may be closed forever...oh, well...
So my mom starts joining the search and questioning the dr's she works with. Trying to find one she likes that she thinks will be the perfect fit for me. She comes home one day and this is basically our conversation: (comments in parentheses are my thoughts during said conversation)
Mom: I talked to one of the drs at work tonight and he agreed to take you on as a patient.
me: I'm sorry, what?
mom: he was at work, checking on a patient and I started talking to him about you. Well, when I first noticed him at the desk, he was talking to one of his partners, and I didn't want him to be around and volunteer for it, so I had to wait until he wasn't there anymore. But when he left I started talking to Dr. G. about your condition. I asked him if he knew anything about connective tissue disease (I interrupt)
me: I have mixed connective tissue disease, there's a difference...
mom: yeah, that is what I'd called it. (hmm...ok...) He said he didn't know a lot, but he could research it. I asked him if he only saw patients at healthsouth (rehab/therapy place my mom works at) or if he was taking on patients at his practice. He said he'd take you. There's just one thing....
me: (thinking back to earlier conversation about other drs she'd commented on, waiting for comments on personality, demeanor, etc) yeah?
mom: well, he's really, really good looking. (too shocked to speak....seriously? THIS is her hesitation point? what does it have to do with his being my dr?) Shana thinks he walks on water, says he's "dreamy". He's really good looking. (really starting to get uncomfortable with my mom, my MOM, going on and on about how amazingly good looking this guy is...awkward!...starting to wonder if there are ulterior motives...) Shana was all excited the other day, cause he touched her shoulder and told her good job....she came over and told Greg and me: He touched me!
me: why? is he single or something? how old is he?
mom: no, I don't think so...(I immediately feel better about "dr hottie", don't know about you, but I feel more comfortable with exams and other things with male dr's when they're married) he's probably in his 40's (ok, so she's not trying to set me up...why is his "good looking" such a big deal??)
me: so whats the big deal?
mom: I don't know, I just didn't know if it would make you uncomfortable...(really? why do I care...don't...no problem) I think he'd be a really good fit for you though. He's a great dr, really cares about his patients and goes beyond what he needs to, to treat his patients and be knowledgeable of their treatment and condition. He said to call his office and set it up.
me: ok...
So, long story short: I found a new PCP. Or rather, my mom found one for me...lol. In any case, I won't be back seeing my old one, and not going to miss her either. Now I just have the awkward conversation with them of switching and collecting my medical records...which I already did, not as bad as I'd thought it would be. And that experience made me even happier that I'd finally made the switch. I was going through my file, and its a serious mess. Really, did they shuffle it before giving it to me?? The records are totally not in order. It goes from 2007, to 09, to 02, to 04, back to 09, some 2010, some more 07, and on and on, nothing in order by date or occurrence, absolutely the biggest mess I've ever seen. No wonder she didn't know what I'm talking about half the time... Anyway, so ends my PCP dr dilemma.
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